Hometown Humor

I'm from a suburb of Buffalo, NY. If you're from Western New York, you'll find this forwarded message from my parents quite funny:

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Western New York.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you might live in Western New York.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you might live in Western New York.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Western New York.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Western New York.

If your town has more bars than churches*, you might live in Western New York.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE WESTERN NEW YORKER WHEN:

You measure distance in hours.

You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

You often switch from heat to A/C in the same day and back again.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.

You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife knows how to use them.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholesare filled with snow.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction.

Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed.

You go out for a fish fry every Friday**.

Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

You find 10 degrees a little chilly.

* Less a comment on the number of churches than on the number of bars

** Lots of Catholics in Western New York